Lessons for the Teacher

I began to meditate in 1990. About a year later, at my Guru’s ashram, I was given the seva of teaching meditation. Given the fact that I myself was relatively new to the practice, I was not sure of any success as a teacher. However, I had underestimated the power of Grace.

The teaching sessions at the Ashram went off quite smoothly. I began to grow in confidence. Within the next one year, I started introducing meditation to my office colleagues (at Mumbai, India). This brush with the energies of group meditations has been quite rewarding.

In 1991, my office had a group of lady staff members, pursuing spiritual practices. They had the same Guru. Bound by this fellowship, they would come together in the office every day during lunch recess to study scriptures and to meditate. Once or twice, I joined their sessions and they did mine. Then the requirements of work took me away from Mumbai. The contact was severed.

I returned to Mumbai about a year back. One day, I happened to meet one of these ladies at the office. She filled me in on her group. The Guru had passed away and was no longer there in the physical body to guide them. Several members of the group, including the one who lead them, had retired from service. Some members had been transferred to work at offices in other locations within Mumbai. These developments had forced abandonment of the daily satsang. Yet, the group had largely remained cohesive. Those members, who could, met for four-five hours of practices one Saturday each month at some place of choice.

My contact with the group having been renewed, soon they invited me to lead them into meditation at a get-together they had organized within the office. It was nice to meet them. A few months later, once again they invited me in.

This time, I encouraged them to speak about issues relevant to their sadhana. We dealt with several questions. How do they feel about their sadhana? Where do they think it is leading them? What issues or behavioural patterns they feel they have to work on? How to evaluate the inner work, carried on by the awakened energy? How to deal with the physical absence of the Guru? And so on………

Very soon a significant issue with many came to the fore. The ladies were being bogged down by their own judgment about some undesirables they were not able to let go. They were unhappy that their sadhana had done little to help them in getting rid of unwanted thoughts or habit patterns. Also, just because they were focused on areas of want, they were overlooking those of abundance, specially the wonderful transformation that was all too evident in their lives and did indicate great progress through inner work.

In the course of discussion, I deliberately played the facilitator, allowing others to change focus so that they begin to look for and appreciate the positives. Gradually, a change began to be felt. The general demeanor of the participants was changing perceptibly. Faces began to lighten up more and more with hope and self-belief.

This discussion had consumed considerable time. So, I suggested that we had had a “discussion satsang” and we could call it a day. However, the ladies weren’t ready to forego meditation. Looking for an swift way out, I thought I would give them a short visualization for healing and be done with it.

I began giving instructions accordingly, beginning with a breath awareness induced limb by limb relaxation starting from toes upwards. I was half way through, when I began to feel a great buildup of energy within. It started taking hold of me. The instructions, I was giving thus far, had to stop.

Suddenly, a suggestion for a different kind of dharana (concentration) and meditation began to take shape within me. It was about meditation on the Guru’s form (by identifying the one’s body with that of the Guru). Instructions began to form in my mind spontaneously. I went ahead with the flow and started articulating whatever came up.

It began with the awareness of the toes. The mantra “Om Guru Om” had to be repeated silently with the suggestion that the toes were no longer ours but those of the Guru. Limb by limb this visualization was carried forward with silent repetition of the mantra. Eventually, we reached the crown of the head.

Normally, I would have stopped at that and would have let the ladies meditate on the inner silence arising out of this identification with the Guru’s form. But, this did not happen.

New instructions began to came forth. These were about visualization of a very private and intimate meeting with the Guru, seated comfortably on a lovely chair in the cave of the heart. Everyone was taken through the steps of this process slowly – welcoming the Guru, seating the Guru in the chair, offering the most loving service to the Guru, and sharing with the Guru the innermost secrets, feelings and gratitude. I asked each one to sit in silence and listen if the Guru had any words of advice, instruction and benediction; and, let the words sink in.

Perhaps at this point the instructions stopped. We were in an office hall. Outside, there was some conversation. Once in while voices could be heard. But, we were engulfed by a pool of silence. We sat quietly, each one deeply absorbed in the silent company of the inner Guru.

After a while, I softly guided the ladies into regaining body consciousness. I too was brought out by my own voice. I looked at my watch. Only thn I realized that meditation had lasted almost 50 minutes. Even after everyone had opened their eyes, an unseen curtain of silence hung over us. No one was willing to speak. It took quite a while before we spoke out.

This experience was a strong reminder to me of how the inner Guru guides from within. My ‘limited’ mind had conjured up a concept of the meditation I needed to give those ladies that day. Obviously, the inner Guru thought otherwise. He acted decisively and with grace, compelling me to fall in line and change course. What eventually took place was hugely more enjoyable. The Guru had used me as an instrument. What a splendid blow to any sense of doership that I might have had.

There was another teaching that came to me strongly from this experience. I had gone to these ladies as a ‘teacher’ – ‘somebody’ who would help them ‘receive’ ‘something’. These ladies were surely low on intellectual content. But, they were certainly very high on love for spiritual life, simplicity, purity and receptivity. This had largely engineered the experience that had befallen me.

And, lo and behold, the teacher had become the taught.

Ladies! My heartfelt salutations to each one of you!!.

This is the greatness of a satsang (company of the Truth). It allows one to discover his or her better part in the most inscrutable ways.